This is not an open letter. No.

I really don't know where to start. I've lost count of all the days, I have spent trying to convince myself that maybe, I should start writing for the world again. Not that it will make much of a difference. But the last few days, or maybe months I must say, has just been me putting in a bunch of efforts to try and write something that is not a piece of me from my personal life. Unfortunately, that results in to another pile of passages, eventually, centered around the different catastrophes I have been in. 

This is one of those rare passages. As a writer (Yes. I dare to call myself that.) , I have never liked putting any shade of my personal life in my work. I once read this stereotype about writers tending to over exaggerate things that happen to them in their pieces, and it hit me harder than it should have. As a result, it has costed me, a few months, trying to search for something I can actually write about, and not end up worrying about the fact that somehow people will judge me for putting my personal life on social media. I need to admit, judgmental people are the only people who intimidate, and piss me off at the same time. And sometimes, what scares me, is I just might be one of them. Coming back to the point. I'm not saying that I've given up writing. That is a very drastic statement to make in the first place. In fact I could safely say it is a false statement. Because I have not. I have been writing a lot. More than I used to in the past few months, of my existence. But I haven't shared a single one of the pieces I wrote, out of the mere worry, that it may include, some part of me, that the world would not like to see.

Until today.

You might want to know what happened to the fear, I have been carrying for almost two months. Some miracle, maybe? Miracles happen to writers, don't they? You must think. Or maybe, you might not be thinking anything at all. (See? I told you I might be one of those judgmental pricks.) Doesn't matter, whatever thought crosses your mind. I'll just let you know that no miracle, or magic has touched my life. No feeling, has overwhelmed me enough to start writing this piece, and actually publishing it. I am still scared to death to share any piece that might reveal a side of my personality that is other than what I choose to show. But today, I've realized that I don't think I'll ever be able to publish any piece if that thought comes in the way. And believe me when I say, that thought somehow, is scarier than any other fear that I have. 

Which brings me to my point. A point that is so simple, yet hard to believe. Ever heard that quote? "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." I'm not sure if it's exactly that quote, but if it is, let me warn all the writers reading this. This might piss you off. 

So here it is. *Drumrolls*

Dear writers, there is always, (and I cannot emphasize on how important the word 'always' is in this sentence) going to be a piece of you in your writings. Unless you're not writing something you love, and that too will show, as apathy in your article, which perhaps, is another piece of you. You cannot help it. It is something that is out of your control. Writing is maybe one of the few, areas where I think it helps that your personal and professional lives collide. (Unless, of course, you're writing for a newspaper. You really don't want to read this article, if you do that.) Maybe you will exaggerate what happened to you, but that is only to make people feel, what you are feeling, and not distort the truth. This is especially, for those people who like dark writing. ( I don't know if that's what it's called.) But there is something about tragedy, that makes it beautiful to write about. So it is fine if you let down what you feel on a piece of paper, and share it with the world. They are people too. And this is just a guess, but I'm hoping so many people means, that we can use a little bit of empathy, and we can share a little bit of our feelings. Especially, when you're a writer, who doesn't like eye contact and personal interactions, who would rather spend time in one corner of her room, with maybe one, at the most two, friends. More than that, is something that freaks her out. Or even better, alone. It's way better than attending a party that another hundred people will be going to. Might be the talk of the town, but doesn't enthuse you. Writing, is the only way you will be able to feel free.

Lastly, this article, is mostly, for me more than it is for the rest of the world. This is actually, me sitting in one corner of my room, and explaining to myself, why publishing this article might be a good Idea. I'm still scared of publishing the others. Obviously. That should explain why I haven't shared them yet. But I'll take my time. 

Publishing this has taken a lot of time. Writing this however, has not.

Also, I never thought I would write something like this. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm doing. 

Thanks,

- Meha.